First off I would like to thank my secret friend that made this possible. Now on to the whore.

I have a friend, ok more than one(so what if the are in my head) but this particular friend Statty one day was listening to me tell him about some atrocious movie I had recently seen and he said “You are a fuck whore.” Which instantly popped into my little brain as I am The Movie Whore and I have went with it ever since. Do you think you have what it takes to be a movie whore? Here’s a brief list of some of the qualifications.

Qualifications to be considered a movie whore.

1. Must have received gonorrhea of the eye from watching movies that are so bad they should be outlawed. Examples: Including but not limited to Zombie Nation, any sequel to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Transmorphers, Alone in the Dark or any other Uwe Boll movie.
2. You know what a Troma movie is and you watch them avidly. Examples: Toxic Avenger 1-4 and the cartoon. Tromeo and Juliet, Sgt Kabuki Man NYPD, Terror Firmer, Surf Nazi’s Must Die and others.
3. Know obscure shit. Examples: Christopher Lambert is a master swordsman that is nearly legally blind. Ellen Barkin was once in the Porn industry and once married to Ron Pearlman who by the way owns Revlon. Rebecca Demornay has a doctorate in Psychology. The Last Starfighter was the one of first movies to extensively use CGI and the technology was originally pitched to George Lucas for for the original Star Wars. You know that Russel Crowe worked with Denzel Washington prior to their latest theatrical outing and you know the name of the movie. Worth 5 cookies.
4. You have seen more than one Uwe Boll film.
5. You own Xanadu. I do.
6. You have worked or currently work at a video store because you wanted to. Examples: I have done this twice. I actually worked in a video called Ray’s video that had the most complete collection of movies in California and was next door to Ray’s Liquor. So yes the original Clerks spoke to me on a very personal level. I can walk into a room and within 5 seconds name the movie on the TV even if I have not seen it. Give me the plot and I can name just about any movie that has come out in the 30 years. 5 cookies to anyone that can stump me. Using IMDB is cheating.
7. You know the movie this quote was used in. “No matter where you go, there you are.” 5 Cookies to anyone that can name it with out looking it up and 5 more for being able to name 5 actors in the movie without having to look it up.
8. You thought the argument over whether or not destroying the second Death Star was morally wrong was one of the most brilliant things you have ever seen.
9. You re-watch movies you know are bad just because it has been a while since you have seen it. Examples: Doom, 1 Million BC, Red Sonja, The Beastmaster and others.
10. You own or would like to own the following movies: Including but not limited to Ice Pirates, Big Trouble in Little China, My Big Fat Independent Movie, Xanadu, Starship Troopers, The entire Kevin Smith Collection, entire Mel Brooks collection, entire Monty Python collection, Any Godzilla movie that does not star Matthew Broderick, Far Out Man, The Last Star Fighter, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey, and the Evil Dead Trilogy.
11. Lastly Bruce Campbell is one of your personal heroes.

Should you be able to actually make sense of any of this then it is quite possible you are a movie whore. Please note all cookies exist only in my mind.