I had posted a topic to get everyone’s feel for the idea of remakes and I personally am against the idea but can admit there have been a couple notable exceptions to the remake rule. However this latest news made this movie whore twitch like nothing ever has. It took me 5 minutes to even be able to speak after reading
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A lot of horror movies get made. Few of them creep me out. Fewer still creep me out more than once. Here are some rules to making your horror flick a creepy as possible.

1. Puppets are creepy as hell.
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A common error made by film makers is to make a movie based in reality but with fantasy elements. Let me explain.
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I think we can all agree that the writer is the most important person to your movie. The reasoning is obvious or at least should be. The script is the back bone to the movie. It is the writer’s words that are transformed into a visual representation of an idea or a collection of ideas and visions that everyone has to work with.
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Nothing makes me twitch more than movies with no continuity.  The biggest offender of this is sequels.  I am not talking just about story but also about actors.  Brandon Lee died making The Crow.  Your star is no longer available so don’t make a sequel.  You only end up losing your audience.
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I have been examining movies in a new way recently.  I have been breaking them down and really determining what makes them good, bad or a total waste of my time.  I have been having some really good conversations with people on the subject as well.  So who would The Movie Whore get to make a good movie, let’s find out.
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I have been thinking about this the last couple days or actually ever since I knew what a movie was. What is it that makes a movie good?

It’s a difficult question to answer. Whether or not a movie is good is totally subjective. Let’s take for instance one of my new favorite movies, Southland Tales. I wrote a review of this movie and called it brilliant. Well a couple weeks ago I went to see Mike and Spikes Sick and Twisted Cartoon Festival (Not as good as last years). The buddies I went with found Southland Tales to be “retarded.” The Wookie actually said that. If you ever saw him you would understand why the hairy guy has the nick name. Then Jeff Solo or El Jeffe, the Wookies room mate agreed with him. So I called Statutory Steve (Yes it is a joke nick name his wife is actually older than him) because I was in a state of disbelief over the fact that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (we let them argue over which is which) thought that Southland Tales sucked. Statty reminded me where these comments were coming from. The inhabitants of the Falcon are known for their bad taste and loving the most intellectually devoid crap.

Now don’t get me wrong I love these guys like brothers but I really question their taste, frequently. Granted Statty and I are arrogant elitists but we have worked hard to become so. Statty is actually the one that gave me the title of The Movie Whore as he is more of a critic than I am. The man just does not appreciate the value of a good B-Movie. I found myself becoming a critic and when I realized this was happening I decided the best way to regain my all out fandom was to immerse myself in crappy movies. This explains why I even know what Zombie Nation is.

Anyway back on topic. What makes a good movie I believe is what I am rambling about today. Here a few key points that I find makes a movie good to me.

* Entertainment Value: Did I want to shut the movie off. Even as much of a whore as I am I have shut some movies off for being that bad. Not many but a few. The best way to judge for yourself is after the movie do you feel like they stole time from your life you will never get back, if the answer is yes then it was a bad movie. The Toxic Avenger is highly entertaining.

* Dialog: Lame dialogue makes for a lame movie. Good dialog makes for a possibly good movie. Great dialogue makes a movie. Clerks looks like crap but it is the dialogue that made it such a great movie.

* Plot: The more plausible and easy to follow the better generally speaking. There are some hard to follow movies out there that are pretty damn good. Think Donnie Darko and films that you may have to watch twice to get. Once you get it you love it.

* Pace: While important, can be forgiven for story and acting. Does the director move the movie along or are you stuck with pointless scenes that never lead to anything. Poor pacing can kill a potentially good movie in 5 minutes or less. Notable exception to this rule is The Good Shepherd. Matt Damon was incredible in this telling of a man that lived a life with little to no emotion. The slow pace emphasized his character.

* Acting: Bad acting can sometimes be a pleasure to watch if it is intended to be that kind of movie. Sometimes it could even make a movie better. I really think that Moulin Rouge would have been better with bad actors. The music stuff was fun but you had great actors pulling off emotional scenes that clashed with the fun ride this movie could have been. No one can deny that great acting can be crucial to how good a movie is. Hugh Jackman was amazing in The Fountain and carried that movie on his shoulders. I loved that movie.

* Loopholes: So many movies leave with you with questions. They never tell the complete story. A great movie that told a complete story and answered all your questions was The Departed. Now some movies are made to leave you asking questions and that is their draw. They make you think and use your imagination to fill in the intentionally left holes. The original anime movie A Ghost In the Shell had my brain spinning for hours after I watched it. I own this movie.

* Special Effects: Bad effects can kill an other wise good movie. I am Legend is the best example of this. Will Smith really is a good actor. His performance was strong but the creatures in this move were so bad that I can’t see myself ever watching the movie again.

* Less is more: Think about the original Alien. One of the things that set the mood and made this movie so good was the distinct absence of sound and background music. Silence can be a powerful thing. The Descent also used this technique and I was impressed with how many times I jumped out of my seat during this flick.

* Believability: Offenders of this rule include nearly every time travel movie ever made. They give you their science then abandon their own rules. Bullets go through walls. There is a big difference between cover and concealment. Cover stops bullets, concealment does not. Most action movies screw this one up. It really is the little things that viewers can key in on. If you don’t believe me check out any movie forum. You will find nit picking all over the place with no mention as to whether or not the movie is good.

* Continuity: If you are going to make a sequel you better have your story straight. In my mind Lucas totally abandon this with Episodes 1-3. He threw off the continuity of Episodes 4-6. I think Kevin Smith understands continuity better than any director I have ever seen. The references he makes in his films to past movies shows that he understands movie goers are not stupid and builds in an automatic need to see the rest of his flicks to get the jokes in later movies.

I think that is going to do it for this edition. If I have left something out let me know. In closing “Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin’ around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?”

So after writing What makes a good movie I figured maybe I should expand on some the subjects I covered. You can make a good movie that is solely based on dialog. There are quite a few of these movies out there but one I want to focus on is the movie Brick. If you have not seen this movie do yourself a favor and rent it soon. You’re girlfriend/wife will even watch it with you. So this time on movie night she will only get one disappointment and yes I am referring to you.
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