First off let me say that if you are looking for an eloquent review, go elsewhere. If you want a recommendation that a friend would give, then keep reading.

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I wish I could sit here and give you a play by play of what went wrong in this film, but that would require a second viewing with some note taking and I don’t need to inflict that kind of damage on myself again. But here are a few of the things that still stand out in my mind.

Sean Patrick Flanery at one time had a promising career, WTF happened?

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I have had this song stuck in my head off and on for about 2 weeks. It is Duty Free by Cracker. Then I was listening to A Little Piece of Heave by Avenged Sevenfold this morning and the one thing these very different songs have in common is storytelling. They each tell a story instead of giving you just a catchy tune with a hook.

Storytelling is as old as human history. The first time one dude looked at another dude and said “Let me tell about something I saw…” story telling was born. In its birth that story was told from a singular perspective and heard in another and then probably retold and that story got to live on in many perspectives in many forms and probably several versions.

The point of that ridiculousness is this. There is no new way to tell a story, there is a good story told the right way and there is everything else. Storytelling is the heart of a film. At the heart of every story are the characters.

You can make any story prettier by wrapping it in pretty colors or big awe inspiring explosions or even by throwing in some steamy sex, but unless you have a good story to tell with decent characters you are dressing up a toothless two bit crack whore and asking for $1,000 an hour. Oh come on you love that visual and you know it.

I went to a 3D showing of AVATAR on New Year’s Eve. I really enjoyed this film. In my opinion this film is a visual and technical masterpiece that is something I have always dreamed of seeing on the big screen and will allow for films that take place in places you will never find on this planet to made easier and cheaper over time.

Mark my words this is an important film that will take the locks off doors that have been closed to filmmakers in the past and give them a way to truly look for and find an original story to tell. This film from a standpoint of James Cameron giving future filmmakers a wonderful and needed new direction to take films in the digital age, was well worth every last cent sunk into the making of this movie. It was sure as hell worth the money I paid for 4 people to see it in 3D. You people know if I am happy about spending money that is the highest compliment I can pay.

This is the kind of film that makes you wish you could have a big enough TV and wand watch it in 3D at home when you buy it on BluRay and don’t care how much it costs. It is a beautiful piece of visual storytelling art. Some of the plot points and characters may feel familiar, but trust me you have never seen a story told like this before.

Have you ever been just sitting around by yourself and you are contemplating life and you are talking to yourself and for some unknown reason you don’t feel like you are alone. Ever try to describe that and not sound crazy, even to you?

THE MOVIE HERO can tell you why. Once in a while my day dreams run a one day THE MOVIE WHORE MOVIE but just found out they beat me to it.

Blake (Our Hero played by Jeremy Sisto) begins the movie with the following piece of dialog that has become my new morning mantra as I sit down to watch a flick.

“Thou movie, which art on screen, hallowed be they name. The time has come. Thou will be shown in theaters as well as home. Give us this day our daily film and forgive our bad choices, as we forgive those whose movies were so bad to choose. And lead us not into television, but deliver us from that evil, for movies are the picture and the sound, and the greatest thing in the whole wide world, forever and ever. Movies Rule!”

You see Blake can see his audience and it is Blake’s job as our hero to keep us entertained. Since no one else can see Blake’s audience everyone thinks he is crazy.

“What if this movie held the answer to the universe? That’s why you have to see everyone.”

Tell me about it Blake. I think you are starting to get why I love this movie. Brad Gottfred (writer/director) is a movie whore and a damn fine filmmaker with this film. Every single one of us has had delusions of grandeur from time to time but Our Hero takes it to a whole new level as he picks out his Suspicious Character (Peter Stormare, yes Peter Fucking Stormare) who will be Our Heroes villain for the remainder of the film. The remainder of the film of course includes a love interest that just happens to be our heroes court appointed therapist. The dialog between Blake and The Love Interest is some of the greatest I have ever heard.

First off, I have always been a Sisto fan and in THE MOVIE HERO he is flawless as he goes back and forth talking to the audience and then talking about the audience never missing a beat and always bringing his attention to the right place every time. One of the best performances I have seen in a long time. Blake’s ever enthusiastic perspective of making his life interesting for his audience and the passion which he speaks to and about his audience is nothing short of moving. As insane as Our Hero sounds the passion behind his words make you want to cheer him on.You may think I am crazy but if you don’t like this character it says more about you, as in take the stick out of your ass and have a little fun for a while.

I have never been a big Dina Meyer (Diz in STARSHIP TROOPERS) but damn she was fantastic in THE MOVIE HERO as the Elizabeth, The Love Interest. She had some wonderful scenes in this movie that counted on her to deliver and she did. Again if you don’t get this flick, it says more about you than the flick.

Giving Our Hero the chance to step away is his Sidekick, Antoine (Brian J White) who is young but not stereotypical young. He is black but not stereotypical black. He’s a comedian but not a stereotypical comedian and tries really hard to convince Blake’s audience of this as he petitions to become The Side Kick.  I know what you are thinking but there is no way to describe this film and do it justice however It comes with a 100% The Movie Whore stamp of approval. This movie has such dialog that it will reach in and touch you on a personal level like no movie ever has. Abandon the serous side of life and be surprised as this silly little film draws in and takes you on a ride you will want to ride again and again.

Just do yourself a favor and watch the flick. Hell I am watching it a second time as I am writing this and still loving it. THE MOVIE HERO is a movie for all movie whores.

I am going to keep this short and to the point. I have read dozens of bad reviews of Transformers: Rise of the Fallen and all I can say is, “You missed the fucking point douchebags!”

From beginning to end this flick was a roller coaster ride that I thoroughly enjoyed. When you know what to expect from a Michael Bay film then there is no reason not to be happy with this film. Kung fu Robots and shit blowing up. Michael Bay should be damn proud of this movie as it is a visual masterpiece of action.

The photrealism of the Transformers themselves is nothing compared to the action sequences and there was not a shortage of them. The only complaint I had about the last film was the lack of action. Bay more than made for it in this film.

Forget acting and story that is not what this movie is about. If you are looking for story and acting then go see Public Enemies. If you are a Poison fan and or are looking for “Nothin’ but a good time” then go see Transformers and know it is worth every damn penny and minute. Really that is all you need to know. This film gets The Movie Whore fun ride stamp of approval.