It is my final day in Los Angeles and I figured I would write this post. While I have been down here I have been working on several things and the most exciting parts of this trip have everything and nothing to do with this site. To quote George Carlin as Rufus in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,

“Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense. I’m a professional.”

The initial reason for this trip was to finally meet one of film partners, a close friend and very talented writer and see if we can’t get a movie made. As we planned this trip it was The Writer that gave me the obvious idea to try and get some interviews in for the site and it was The Writer that sent me a link to apply for a free lance writing position with an industry online magazine.

You see I live in a 2 bedroom apartment in Chico California. My fiancée and I sleep in the living room so our children can each have their own room. I had been working for Toys R Us for about a year and there was no way we were going to be able afford for me to go on this trip had I not quit the toy store and used my final check to give me the cash I needed to be able to be down here. So basically right now I am working without a net and I have no idea how I am going to be able to afford to take care of my family after I get back tomorrow. I took a leap of faith and I am glad I did.

While I have been down here I have pushed that thought out of my head as I wandered through this area meeting people, conducting my interviews and trying to help my partner get his film made. I met a couple famous people, attended a Hollywood style dinner, gained a new mentor as I work to become a producer. I am not mentioning names because the names are not important to this post. What is important about this post is the story of how a 35 year old nobody came to the city of angels and met real people.

You know I hide behind this name “The Movie Whore” when I write and for the first time I want to talk to you as myself, James Clayton Carter Jr. A name that you don’t know and may never hear outside of this site, but a name that sat at the table not as a sarcastic arrogant film appreciator, but as an independent film journalist, a first time film producer and just some dude who happened to be there.

The experience has been in a word, “surreal.”

Now let me tell you about my Hollywood dream experience that is 100% true. Let me tell you about people I met and their stories that are every bit as important to me as my own story. There are not going to be any names in this post as it is not a news piece, it is a human piece. If you send me an email asking for names, the reply you get will be filled with my favorite word. It starts with an F.

There is this actor. The Actor is just starting his career and this trip was huge in moving him along his learning curve of how to make his career happen. He is a hell of a guy and someone I am proud to not only call a friend but also a brother. The Actor came here with a lot of concerns and a sense of urgency that had his brain spinning. He has a family to care for and a dream to make real. During his time here he listened and he learned. Now as he prepares to go home to Chicago he has found a peace that he needed and it was quite a rare thing to watch someone go through the life changing events that he went through.

The Actor and I spent a lot of time talking as we are both part of the social outcast class of smokers. It was during these times where we went outside in the cold rain to feed our addiction to nicotine that we had some truly deep conversations that will always stay with me and I know they will stay with him as well. The Actor has a bright future ahead of him, but more importantly he is a good man doing the best he can. You will be seeing a lot of The Actor in the future and I am looking forward to working with him on my first feature film as a producer.

The Writer is so much more than a talented writer and close personal friend. The man is just that, he is a man that conducts himself as a man should in any endeavor he pursues. I am proud to have him as a friend and brother and consider knowing him a blessing in my life. You see without him this trip would not have been possible for me. Without him I would not be pursuing this career as a producer and be in the heart of the film industry on the verge of breaking into the business in a way that will forever change the industry.

You see I spent some time visiting with a friend who has been working in the industry for quite a few years and knows the ins out better than most. He is also on his way to making some things happen that will change game for everyone. This same friend has also seemingly taken on a role as my mentor as I move forward taking all this filmmaking philosophy I spew forth from time to time to create the films that will define my career. This same friend gave me the opportunity to work with someone who has an immense amount of talent.

Think of it this way, I am a 35 year old man who has never really done anything of note but has always had delusions of grandeur. Of course this is going to come to a surprise to anyone I talked to this weekend. I can just see the people I met at Peets coffee on Larchmont as they read this, if they read this. There was this cool British dude, a comedienne whose show I missed (Sorry, we tried.) and an actor who got rid of his TV to keep from smoking bong rips all day long while sitting on the couch watching hours of mindless TV. I wonder if he ever got a working copy of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.

Each of the people I just described treated me with nothing but decency and kindness and I will always remember the short period of time spent with them and as my career progresses in film I hope to repay the kindness by giving them some work.

My partner had a friend from high school who is a single parent of 4, a nanny and a standup comic take us out for the night. The Comic took us to the IMPROV where Drew Carrey just happened to show up to do a set. The Comic got us in for free. It was one hell of a night and it was also an educational experience as I saw comedy from the other side of comedy for the first time. It was an up close and personal look at what the funny people go through just to try and make us laugh. I heard some great stories but more importantly I heard a cry for those of us that laugh to support those that have the gift to keep us laughing. It has also given me yet another group of people to find talent in that I can reach out to and help at some point in the future to make their dreams come true if I can.

There is a lot I do that I don’t talk about. All of it centers on finding people who have dreams and helping them make those dreams come true if ever I have the chance. I am very close to having my own dreams come true and I look forward not just to the realization of my own dreams but in passing it along.

I realize a lot of people who came across this piece probably quit reading it a long time ago as they saw it as some sad pathetic diatribe of some nobody who is yet again having those delusions. How many times have each of us come across people that say they are doing this or doing that and then come back later and talk about how it all fell through and how close they were and they live in that moment of disappointment for what seems to be an eternity. Life is disappointment, one after another. So what if you get knocked down and then kicked a few times in the ribs. Get up. Learn from it. Move forward and rededicate yourself.

If this nobody can get to where he is then anyone can do it. If a guy in Chicago can come to L.A. just to find out being in Chicago is just where he needs to be to make his career as an actor work, so can you. If a writer can spend 3 years of his life working his ass off in Florida to get to the point where he could get his film made then what the hell are you sitting at home bitching about and how much of it is your fault.

This trip has been about dreams but it has all been real. This is no work of fiction and everything I have mentioned is 100% factual and the reason I mention no names is because right now you have no name until you make one for yourself. It will be a long road. Hell, I have been clawing and scratching for almost 3 years just to get my foot in the door and now I am ready to not just slide on through but to walk tall through that door to the future that I have always dreamed of and make it happen one small step at a time. None of this would have ever happened had I not been given the opportunity to start this site by a friend in Spain. She knows who she is and she has heard this before, but again I say thank you.

It is this online persona of The Movie Whore that got me here, but it has been me, Jim Carter, that has been hiding behind the name doing the work and meeting the people that I believe in and the people that have believed in me. To the latter I say thank you and I will be eternally grateful and to the former, let me know if you need anything and if I can do it, I will do it. If I can’t do it now, I will when I can.

One last thing. You may notice that the only ads you see on here are those ridiculous Google ads that I don’t blame anyone for not clicking. I have never actually made a dime off this site in almost 3 years. I have been doing all of this for free. Even the work I have done trying to get the various film projects off the ground has been done for free. I don’t do what I do for money. I do what I do because I see people with talent I believe in and I consider it an honor and a privilege to work with these people. People often say “I would do it for free.” Well, I do it for free and have been for almost 3 years. While others have benefited, my family has sacrificed. There is a button up there on the right that says “Donations.” If you can spare a buck or two my family could use the money and if not, oh well.

OK kids, I am off to hang with my brothers here for our last night of this trip. Tomorrow I will return home and I can’t wait to see my kids and sleep next to the love my life that has done nothing but support this crazy whore and his crazy dreams.