Well kids today is my birthday and I thought I would revisit a post I wrote a while back. We are going to look at my favorite films from each year I have been alive, the films that I had to see that year. So we will start in 1977 when I was 3 and I saw my first movie on the big screen.

When I was 3 I went to see Star Wars and it made me the obsessed Movie Whore I am today. Just the other day I was talking with a friend and we came to the same conclusion. I want to like Star Wars still but I really just don’t care about it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still think they are brilliant examples of Scifi story telling when it comes to Episodes 3 & 4, I just would rather watch something else.

When I was 4 it was Superman, but at 35 it is Up in Smoke. It just is. I still love Superman, but I would rather watch Up in Smoke. See where this is going yet?

When I was 5 it Was Star Trek The Motion Picture. I wasn’t old to see Alien, get over it. Today I would so watch The Jerk any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Steve Martin is nothing short of a genius when it comes to the characters he brings to life. I never get tired of watching the man work.

When I was 6 it was The Empire Strikes Back, which in my opinion is still in the Top 3 of best films ever made, but I would rather watch Airplane. I am still not convinced I have found every gag in that flick and I will keep watching until I am.

When I was 7 It was all about Raiders of the Lost Ark. I still Love it. Though I would have to say in the last 28 years I have become quite the sick son of a bitch and I would so throw in The Evil Dead right now and I just might because I can.

When I was 8 I am proud to say that it was and still is Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Khan. Captain Kirk has been and will always be one of my heroes and I will never get over that. Yes, I do realize he is a fictional character created from the mind of Gene Rodenberry and that Gene is not a God and he was nothing more than a very talented writer, but mortal in every way. I am not an idiot; I just know good Scifi story telling and great characters when I see them.

When I was 9 my cousins convinced me to ask my parents if they would drop all five of us kids off at the theater to see Return of the Jedi. It was a good year. But today I would sit here right now and watch Monty Pythons The Meaning of Life. I don’t care who you are that is some of the funniest shit ever laid to film and if you don’t get I feel so bad for you. Yeah I know I am a dick. It is my Birthday, what are you going to do about it?

When I was 10 there was something strange in my neighborhood and I knew who to call, The Ghostbusters. However there is a fine between stupid and clever and Spinal Tap crossed it several times in this mockumentary that never gets old.

When I was 11 it was Back to the Future that went to see with my parents. It is The Breakfast Club that I will always feel connected to as I first saw it when I was 16. I go back and see pieces of myself at that age and it makes me smile.

When I was 12 I fell in love with Jennifer Connolly and if I was still watching Labyrinth for that reason it would make me much sicker than I am. Today I would watch Platoon. Some of my fondest memories were watching old war movies with my grandfather when I was a kid and we would go visit for a weekend. Platoon is one of those old war movies I will sit and watch with my grand kids some day. Hard to believe I am dick from 9.

When I was 13 it was the princess bride but today it would be Full Metal Jacket, see above for why.

When I was 14 it was Killer Klowns from Outer Space. It still is. There will always be a 14 year old version of myself lurking in the shadows waiting to come out and play for a little while. I will never give that up either.

When I was 15 it was and will always be Bill & and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Some of my truly best memories come from that year and this flick takes me back to that moment I saw it in the theater every time. Today that memory hurts a little. Those that know me know why and know I would rather not talk about it.

When I was 16 Pump up the Volume was the voice of my personal rebellion against anything you had to throw at me. You think I am an arrogant prick now, you would have loved to kick the shit of the me at 16. I look back and have a good laugh over it. I would still watch that right now.

When I was 17 It was Hudson Hawk. I still had fond memories of Moonlighting and thought Die Hard was a departure firm what the man was meant to do as an actor. I still feel that way about Bruce Willis. I still chuckle my way through Hudson Hawk every time I watch it. It pegs my silly fun meter.

When I was 18 I went to see Under Seige. I was young and dumb. Today I would be watching Wayne’s World. Silly fun meter.

When I was 19 I saw every friend I had left in High school when I joined the Air Force 2 years earlier when I sit and watch Dazed and Confused. I t was so long ago and I have lost touch with so many people that I truly cared about. It is a mix of a sting and happy stroll down memory lane when I watch Dazed and Confused.

When I was 20 I was blown the fuck away by The Crow. Today I remember where I was when I saw Clerks and it was working at Ray’s video which just happened to be attached to Ray’s Liquor, very much like The Quick Stop and RST Video were. I lived the movie and it was the year I spent there that was the absolute happiest year of my life for about a decade.

When I was 21 I went to see Empire Records and I fell in love with Liv Tyler and Rene Zellweger. I am still in love with Liv Tyler but I would rather watch Swimming with Sharks and I just might. It could become quite the movie day.

When I was 22 I went to see The People Vs Larry Flint and I had a new hero. I never said I was smart at 22. Today I would watch Ghost in the Shell and wished I had a copy of it to watch today.

When I was 23 I got a threesome for my birthday present from 2 girls I worked with. Great year. Same year I rediscovered the Drive In when I lived in Oklahoma City. Saw Men in Black on the really big screen and loved it. But today I would rather watch Chasing Amy.

When I was 24 it was an absolute tossup between Blade, Dark City and American History X. It still is.

When I was 25 I went to see The Matrix and was blown away but today I would rather Watch The Boondock Saints. I know there really is no discernable pattern here.

When I was 26 I saw every relationship I ever had and can apply it to every relationship since and High Fidelity will be my favorite movie of all time for that. John Cusack will be my favorite actor of all time for that role.

When I was 27 I loved Snatch. I still loved Snatch and it is now on the list of what to watch today.

When I was 28 I surprised to find out that The Brotherhood of the Wolf was a French film and I did not care. It is a great movie from beginning to end and if you are one of those whiny little bitches that doesn’t like to read subtitles, get the fuck over it. It you are blind I completely understand and hope the dubbed version does the movie justice.

When I was 29 I didn’t make it to the theater that year. I was married with two step daughters and had to put my obsession to the rental shelf that year and that was quite OK because I knew it was worth it.  I love Equilibrium. Such a great story and characters.

When I was 30 I rented Bubba Ho-tep and I would still do it today.

When I was 31 I took my ex-wife to see The Devil’s Rejects because that is what she wanted to see. I married her for reason, it just didn’t work out. I still love that flick though.

When I was 32 I was back in the theater just for Clerks 2. It is one of those movies I throw in to watch when I am having trouble finding my center. I can’t explain it, it just makes me feel better every damn time.

When I was 33 my fiancée really wanted to see Grindhouse. Now you know why I am marrying her.

When I was 34 it was all The Dark Knight and damn that it’s a hell of a flick. I can’t find Heath Ledger anywhere in that movie. All I see is The Joker.

This year the only flick I have gone to see is Transformers 2 and it was a silly fun movie with kung fu robots. If that is what you want to see then you will love it. I loved it. But fuck do I want watch Fanboys again right fucking now damn it! Sorry I lost control there for a moment.

I hope enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. To those who actually made it through the entire list, thank you for the only birthday present I want.