When I was somewhere around 3 or 4 years old I would get in trouble and then my mom would find me in my closet saying, “It’s not fair Spider Man.”

Spiderman

I have been a Spider Man fan for 30 some odd years. He was my first super hero and will always be my favorite. The Spider Man comics span decades of stories and characters. The draw of Spider Man to me has always been that Peter Parker was a man that stands alone. He had no one to talk to or to lean on. He was a science geek and knew cool shit. He developed his web shooters and even knew how to modify the solution for certain situations. Built his own tracking device. Peter had a hard time talking to girls. He was the geek that many of us felt like at times in our life, always feeling awkward. Peter always had to sacrifice what he wanted to protect others.

With great power comes great responsibility.

He felt like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and was never really allowed to live life. He also pissed, whined and moaned about it like many of us do. Spider Man has always been one of the most human of super heroes, a regular guy in an extraordinary set of situations. So what did I think of the flicks?

The Film Fan: The first one was alright and dare I say good. As a movie, forgetting the mythology, I loved it, strong story and characters. Willam Defoe was the perfect choice for the Green Goblin, he captured the maniac perfectly.

Alfred Molina again was the perfect choice for Doc Ock. I really liked the second flick as well when I forgot everything I know about the mythology. I could have done without the music montage but it had it’s place and it served a purpose.

Tobey Maguire did a great job portraying both Peter and Spidey. He is a good actor that gave solid performances in the first 2 flicks.

When we get to 3 I really have to wonder just WTF was Sam thinking. Spider Man is an action superhero story not a musical. The singing and dancing drove me nuts. I like Topher Grace but I have never seen him as being a good actor. James Franco has never impressed me either and it was these two that gave the best performances with Thomas Hayden Church in third installment.  I was actually quite impressed with both Topher and James. I expected Church to deliver a solid performance and he did. However it was like Tobey and Kirsten forgot how to act. The story did little for me as well.

I was quite disappointed with the ending as I have come to be with a lot of the superhero movies as they keep killing off the bad guys. If anything, Venom was the one villain in the 3 flicks that gave the story the greatest potential for further sequels.  Also, what the hell is it with having masks taken off so we have to look at the actors faces? I paid my money to see the mask and to see Venom, not to see the actors faces. I felt there was entirely too much emphasis put on showing me Tobey and Topher’s faces. Venom is much more terrifying than Eddy Brock ever could think of being. Over all, I hated the 3rd film.

Before the geek takes over I have to say that J.K. Simmons was the only choice for J. Jonah Jameson. He was perfect.

Hardcore Geek: I hate this trilogy. Let’s just do a list of some of my problems.

1. Mary Jane was a hard ass bitch and not a scream queen. She was a strong female character not the helpless whelp that Raimi put on screen.

2. Aunt May was a doddering old bitty with no clue, not Peter’s source of strength and wisdom.

3. Web shooters. Spidey had more near misses because he ran out of web fluid. It was a common thing. It was a key part of the character that he created the fluid and had to change out cartridges from time to time. You just ignored a huge part of the mythology Sam.

4. Venom leads to Carnage, who is one of the greatest villains of all time. However if you kill Venom you can’t do Carnage.

5. Really, Spidey loses his powers due to a mental block? Get serious will you.

6. This is not a fucking musical.

I could go on but I will stop there. Now I like Sam Raimi and I love most of his other work and I was happy when I heard he was doing the Spidey flicks, however after watching 3 it felt to me like he tried to make the movie as bad as he could so he could walk away from the franchise. I am most likely wrong but that is how it came across to me and other hardcore geeks I know.

Fantastic 4

All I know about the Fantastic 4 is what I saw on Saturday morning cartoons as a kid so I do not profess to really know the mythology all that well. However I know movies and these 2 flicks were crap. I know name recognition puts horny teenager boys in seats so they drool over Jessica Alba but she was miscast as The Invisible girl. Sue Storm and Reed Richards were older characters. I mean in their 40’s so seeing a young actress in the role was a bad idea from the get go.

When I watched the first flick I found it some what entertaining and forgave a lot of the bad acting and just went along for the ride. Again I was never really that much into the 4 so it was easy for me to let some things slide. It was fun and I was fine with it.

Rise of the Silver Surfer however was horrible in every sense of film making and geekdom. The Surfer touches Johhny and now he can switch powers with everyone, WTF? Weak sauce, douche baggery and shenanigans. Then to have Doom take the Surfer’s powers by taking his board is a travesty, a sham, a mockery and dare I say it a traveshamockery.

That is nothing to how pissed off I was when I saw Galactus: Devourer of Worlds as giant space tornado. I could string together a list of swears that would boggle your mind to attempt to express how much I hated seeing this. It was not until about a week ago that could even bring myself to watch the flick and give it a chance. I wish I had left well enough alone.

Blade

Again I never read the books so I know little about the mythology behind the flicks. The first flick was kick ass. I loved it, no origin story, just an ass kicking good time. I had my reservations about seeing it because I just did not know if Snipes could pull off a dark brooding character but he did and he did it well. I loved the flick and will give it a watch every now and then.

When it comes to Blade 2 all I can say is Guillermo del Toro knows how to make a flick. I loved this movie and felt it was better then the first. He took the dark edge of the first film and honed it to a razor sharp blade that cut through all the bullshit and went right for your throat. I will watch it anytime I see it is on. Hell, I can’t watch the first one without watching the second right after.

Trinity had its moments but was no where near as good as the other two. I love Ryan Reynolds, I even devoted a Hollywood Switch to the guy but he just was not what this film needed. His character should have been darker and less comedic. They lightened the dark mood that the first 2 films had masterfully created. From what I understand Snipes was not happy with this flick either. I can see why.

So this wraps up my look at Marvel and the movies. Tune in tomorrow the first part of a two day look at DC and the movies.

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